Chuaxueqi ✈

Hope smiles on the threshold of the year to come, whispering that it will be better.

2012-01-18T02:16:00.001+08:00

Page 20 of 366.

How was this new year so far? Been reading my tweets and somehow got a feeling that 2012 ain't really a good year for people around me. But honestly, 2012 is a awesome year to me, so far so good.

If you're my close friend or Facebook friend, you should probably know that I've patch back with Kaicong. By left we are together for 26 months 11days already, but by right we have been together for 10 days only. But the feeling is still the same, it seems like I've known him for a very very long time already.

I hope that this year marks the end of my misfortune. Had been really unlucky and a lot of negative things had happened the last year and start with all the positive things. Hope it applies to you guys too! Stay healthy and happy always! Will be back blogging soon!

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.

2012-01-02T04:44:00.002+08:00

H A P P Y 2 0 1 2 P E O P L E

So how was your new year? Mine started out pretty good. Celebrated it with my lovely YMCA and they stayed over at my house. Took some retarded videos and we laughed like mad. Like seriously! And they kept calling me mulan because of my stupid bun -__________-

New year, new start. Everyone is saying this and I'm like 'HELL YEAH THIS YEAR WILL BE GOOD'. I am a rather superstitious person and I read that this year for people like me who's born in 1994 will be kind of unlucky and will meet all kinds of sickness and financial problems this year. But I choose not to believe it. I mean, last year (2011) is already bad enough for me, what could it be that this year will end up more negative than last year? So I'm rather positive this year and hopefully this year will be good. 2012, please don't fail me.

Ya ya ya ya ya, I know I know. Where's my 2012 New Year Resolution? Haha kay here goes:

1: Slim down

2: Stay happy.

3. Stay healthy.

4. Positive mindset.

5: Everyone be happy.

6. More money $$$$$$$$

7. More hardworking and smarter please.

Shall stop at 7 because 7 is my lucky number and there's nothing much for me to wish already. Don't want to be greedy this year. And every year when I grow older, I realized that I do not need much things around to be happy. Hopefully this year will also be good to everyone around me who I care for too. Hehe and thank you readers for still being here reading my crappy blog. Stay healthy and be happy 24/7, and may all your wishes come true! <3

P.S. I miss you.

Xoxo, M.

Thou art to me a delicious torment.

2011-12-28T02:04:00.001+08:00

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without any makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you. . .

The one who turns to his friends and says: "That's her. . ."

Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow.

2011-12-23T03:34:00.001+08:00

Guess what I'm doing here at 0319 not sleeping but blogging? Btw I'm sorry readers for the lag of updates of pictures and happy posts. And obviously being here, this space of mine, at this timing, is certainly not a happy post.

I've been trying so hard to make things go back how it used to be. I remembered I don't used to be like this from the year 2009 - 2010. It's just this year, something about this year that makes my life goes hay-wire. It's like every single mf thing I did was wrong and nothing seems to be easy. Yeah, if anyone is reading this now will be like, "Wtf is wrong with you? Everyone goes through hardship and you're complaining again and again every single day without fail."

I know each and every one of you out there is currently going through something rough. But trust me, what I can say is that this is probably the worse period of my seventeen years of life. I'm expected to do this and that from people around, and sometimes I hope those people understands what I've been going through and stop expecting so much from me. And I wonder at times why must I fulfill what they wants me to be and instead not the other way round.

I may be really emotional now a days, but I trust that next year will be a better one for me, it will be.

Head up, stay strong. Fake a smile, move on.

2011-12-21T23:40:00.001+08:00

Currently in the train and I've got the sudden urge to blog, again. Oh btw the train stinks, it smells like rotten eggs... K so here goes my 'rants', don't read if you don't want to.

I feel like crap recently. I'm all moody, not enjoying whatever I'm doing. I don't like to show my emotions easily (as in sad, not angry), so I always acted like nothing is going on and I'm not affected. But no, I'm sorry but I've to say, I'm a really sensitive person. I get affected by the slightest thing around. Example: If you walked pass me without saying hi (maybe not intentionally, but I'll think that you don't want to talk me), I'll be like 'why are you like that? Did I do something wrong?', over and over again in my head. Even before I sleep.

So recently I felt that I'm treated the way I shouldn't be, when I didn't do anything wrong. Don't want to mention who, but the person is making my life a living hell. It makes me feel awkward seeing the person, and I kept quiet and saying nothing about it. Kay, those people who knows me well enough should know that I'm a very hot tempered person and I don't tolerate nonsense, especially cases like this when I'm not even in the wrong, or maybe I don't even know what's happening.

And guess what? I suck it up. I just acted like nothing happen, but the person just won't stop. And honestly, this is making me having mixed feelings. Angry sad disappointed. Yeah, if I tell it to my friends they'll be saying things like 'Don't care la.' or probably 'Quit sucking up'. But it's kind of impossible you know. I just feel like I don't belong there. It's making me feeling really awful.

And these few night I've been really sad about it, thinking of all the things I've to do, and I've no time for myself at all. I really wish all these bad stuffs will stop happening to me, let me be a happier person, at least make me feels that 2011 wasn't that bad after all for me.

This year is horrible, really really really horrible.

Pointless drama

2011-12-18T01:42:00.001+08:00

I don't know why am I here but I'm here. This is my first time blogging with my phone and I don't know if it will looks good on web or whatever, but I just feel like ranting and say everything out (ok maybe not everything) and then feel better so I could sleep tonight. Don't read if you don't want to, it's okay,

Sometimes I think people around me is expecting too much from me. I'm feeling really stressed. As in really really stressed. You know, I've to do so many things just to please people around. I don't find joy in everything I do. In fact, I hated it. And I just don't understand why am I holding on to every single thing around and keeps telling myself to suck it up, make myself feels better with rubbish like 'things will get better'.

And then, I will often post myself questions like, 'Why am I continuing this?', 'Why am I trying so hard in life?' and 'Why can't I just give up everything and enjoy what I like and want to do?'. But eventually I'll be going one big round and giving in to people around just to please them. I don't like to be like this, in fact, I don't want to be like this. But do I have a choice? If I choose doing what I like to do, people will get upset and pissed, and if I don't? I, myself will get upset.

I seriously have no idea what to do but continue this way. Yes, I may sound really 'emo' or whatever, but I am not. I'm already used to this feeling, the fucked up feeling that can't be describe.

I love you beyond the reason why

2011-12-12T01:47:00.001+08:00

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.

To be frank, I never really thought about ending my life except for this one time. It was like a year back? I had this huge quarrel with my ex boyfriend and he wanted to break. And I'm like, omg hell no. I can't live without you, I'm serious. And I told him I really will die (I sounds really stupid right now) and I'll jump down from the 12th floor. But him being him, the tough guy, he said, 'Go, go ahead.' Just to make it clear, he's not heartless or whatever, he just knows I won't do it.

I mean, I really admire those people who picked up the courage to jump down from a building. Sometimes when I looked down from a certain level, I'll be like, who the hell will dare to even jump. But seriously, committing suicide is the most stupidest thing you could ever do. Especially when it comes down to relationship. S e r i o u s l y.

(I know it doesn't look like me. But this is me. The f a t one.)

Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

01 - Cheerleader.

02 - Anti-social.

03 - Detest liars.

04 - I think a lot.

05 - Love sports.

06 - Very untidy.

07 - Very unlucky.

08 - Very unglam.

09 - Very insecure.

10 - Hot tempered.

11 - Complains a lot.

12 - Sleeps really late.

13 - Burps a lot, a lot a lot.

14 - Unique in a strange way.

15 - Wants to get ink before 21.

16 - I must go out with contact lens.

17 - I am really really really really fat.

18 - I'm still in love with my previous ex.

19 - Often disgusted by myself (ha ha ha)

20 - Always wanting to be pretty and slim.

21 - All my guy friends will only stay as friends.

22 - I don't like confession from my good friend.

23 - I love going to school, but not there to study.

24 - My bolster is both my best friend and my love.

25 - I often think of my future, and it's forever blank.

26 - I don't think I'm pretty, sexy, cute. Just average.

27 - I love my name even if it's common. (Way too common)

28 - I just want to be a better person, someone that is useful in this society.

29 - I cry silently because I don't like other's to hear/see the weaker side of me.

30 - When I say I'm fat, I mean it. Not the way to make other's say 'You're not fat at all.'

Sorry all in random sequence! Shall blog soon when I've the time.

Xoxo, M.

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.

2011-12-08T00:06:00.001+08:00

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Drugs? As in... Really drug? Those that you eat and you'll get high? Hmm, does it include smoking? If it does, I find smoking not a really big deal. It's normal? I don't understand why when girls smoke, there will be so many adults looking at them like one kind. I hate it especially old uncles and aunties looked at me that way, it seems like I owe them 523,976,067 bucks. Okay, back to the point, for those 'high' drugs, my views are quite straightforward, NO WAY am I gonna love someone who takes drugs. N e v e r e v e r.

Alcohol is okay actually. But not to the extend that after you drink, and you started beating others up like some mad dog. Venting your anger out on innocent people. I see a lot of my friends parents drunk and started scolding them verbally, I mean, seriously? You want to vent out your anger on innocent person? But still, alcohol is okay, just not too much.

Day 04 - Your views on religion.

Actually there's nothing much I can say about religion. I'm a Buddhist and I barely go and pray. I remembered when I'm young, I always wanted to be a christian. I find christian really cool, because they are all so friendly. But why so friendly? Till now I still don't get it. But for now, I just want to remain as a Buddhist. I find no point changing.

***

Shall blog again tomorrow. Xoxo.

Day 02 - Where you'd like to be in 10 years.

2011-12-06T21:05:00.001+08:00

Venice. Oh my god. I loveeeeeeee that place.

I remembered studying Venice during secondary school and it's seriously the only topic I'm interested in. The place is so beautiful and what's best? The only transportation there is by those gondola rides.

Just take a look at the water. I don't mind swimming from one end to the other. Sounds a little crazy, but I'm serious! Even though it's only a small city in Northern Italy, the city is renowned for the beauty of it's setting, the architecture and it's artwork. And I want to settle down over there with my family, if I've one hehehehehehe.

Find the piece that I'm missing

2011-12-06T00:26:00.001+08:00

I don't know what to blog for the time being and I don't like my blog being so dead.

So I shall try the 30 days challenge. Hehehe.

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 04 - Your views on religion.

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.

Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.

Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.

Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.

Day 11 - Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.

Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

Day 14 - Your earliest memory.

Day 15 - Your favourite tumblrs.

Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.

Day 18 - Your beliefs.

Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.

Day 20 - How important you think education is.

Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.

Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?

Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.

Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about.

Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.

Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.

Day 27 - A problem that you have had.

Day 28 - Something that you miss.

Day 29 - Goals for the next 30 days.

Day 30 - Your highs and lows of this month.

***

Day 01 - Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

Single. It's like you've to be independent in everything you do, there will be no one to share your problems with, no one to talk to on the phone at night, no one bothers to care when you hurt yourself, no one to send you home and gives you hugs and kisses, no one wiping away your tears when you cry and no one will tell you 'You're gonna be okay, I'll be right here whenever you need me'.

It's pretty lonely most of the time, esp when people around you seems to be happy with their partner, and somehow, jealousy always linger around. But of course, there is some advantages. I remembered, when I'm in a relationship, I'll cry at least once per week because of unnecessary quarrels. But for now, I seldom cry at night already. And.... Trying to be independent isn't a bad thing either. There'll always be one more lonely girl. LOL.

I shall end off as I've nothing much to say already.

Shall blog tomorrow. If I have the time! Xoxo.

Love is where the heart is.

2011-11-25T01:48:00.001+08:00

It's currently 1:48am and I've got nothing to do, so I guess I come to this space of mine to do a little update. Life's up and down as usual. Good friends around. Late for school. No cheerleading. Fat. Ugly. Forever alone.

At times when you like someone, have you ever wondered why do you even like the person in the first place? People always say, 'If the person says he/she doesn't know why he/she likes you, that must be love." Frankly, I find it kind of bullshit. There must be something that he/she likes about you. If he/she doesn't know why, it must be crush. It. Must. Be.

Plus, don't you think love is stupid? I think it is. It can makes someone really crazy for someone one moment, and probably treat the person they 'love' like they are invisible the next. Every time I log in to twitter, I see people twitter about their relationship problems, happy sad frustrated, all those mixed feelings. (Kay probably I'm always like that too, but it's different, I'm no longer with the person I love, so I'm like regretting and all, you understand?)

This brings me to another point. Fallen out of love. Regrets? Who doesn't? Probably those who never loved the previous one enough. Maybe I shouldn't judge, but maybe, it's true. I've been seeing guys/girls in facebook, in and out of relationships with different people. I mean, yes, it might be experiences (for some people?), but is it worth it? To get hurt again and again and again and again?

And those empty promises made. Those memories. Those time spend together.

Is it really worth it? To get into a relationship when you know nothing's gonna last?

People always say, move on, find a better one. But the problem is, can you find someone who you can act like yourself and be comfortable with? Find someone who don't judge you. Find someone who don't mind how you look even when you wake up looking messy all over? Find someone who cares for you like how you want it to be? Find someone who farts in your face without going red all over? Find someone who isn't afraid to go out with you and say 'She's beautiful, and she's my girlfriend.'?

And most importantly... Find someone who really loves you?

I don't know how to continue anm, so I shall end off.

Xoxo, M.

Break with the ones you followed

2011-11-15T00:56:00.001+08:00

But I've trust issues you see, you understand?

"A mermaid found a swimming lad, picked him for her own, pressed her body to his body, laughed; and plunging down. Forget in cruel happiness, that even lovers drown.' - Tumblr

Seventeen

2011-11-08T22:12:00.000+08:00

Date: 5th November 2011

Went out with my clique to Jurong Swimming Complex. Supposedly we are suppose to meet at 10.30am and I reached at around 12 plus #foreverlate -.- Keep asking them to meet me then walk there together and nobody wants. Keep finding excuses say take cab, forget bring towel, already on the way.... So I walked there alone, kind of lost (wtf?!) and they say they are over at kfc. Lost again so Lin Jia came and bring me in. Once I stepped into KFC she cover my eyes and I'm like wtf x 164,895,463.

Super sweet right? They gave me a cute cake, hello kitty balloon (still floating), hamster (Mimi), sunflower (dying already), hello kitty necklace, photo album (my fav) and wallet. Hehehe then we went to swim for like few hours and off we went to Jurong Point to have our dinner at Swensens.

K my first time wearing bikini because the stupid swimming complex don't allow home clothes. Oh ya, screw the female lifeguard. Fucking bitch.

***

Warning: 100+ pictures. If you're lazy, then don't stroll down.

(Btw, pictures are already uploaded in facebook.)

Fun day out!

***

Date: 6th November 2011

Went to work and movie after that with Enjia. Lol then he wished me when the clock strikes 12am! Irritating much. Watched 2359 with him and it's my second time watching it already, so kind of bored haha. Then he send me home and asked me down again, so when I go down, Jen came with a cupcake. Hahaha super surprised. Then we went to 888 for supper till 3 plus then home.

***

Date: 7th November 2011

At first wanted to go zoo with Kaicong, then he last minute cancel! Ugh, so I slept till 5 plus then went out with him and Jeremy to watch In Time and dinner. Went to slack and suddenly Jeremy came with a Tiramisu cake to surprise me. So happy hahaha. Slack awhile more and we went home.

***

Hehehe that's all for my birthday this year. Not really happening. But still feel pretty awesome with great friends around me when I'm down and all. Hehehehe and thanks for all the wishes <3

To end off, see my baby Mimi. Cute right?!

Shall blog again soon. Hahaha bet you guys have to wait another year to see such a long post!

Xoxo :*

The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters.

2011-11-05T01:11:00.000+08:00

Am a happy girl today. Clique gave me a surprised advance birthday celebration. They gave me a super cute cake, mimi (hamster), hello kitty balloon, necklace, sunflower and wallet! So so so touched! Will upload all the pictures in the next entry! Stay tune!

For now, I shall give you all a sneak preview. Hehehe.

(Ok la, not counted as sneak preview because I've already uploaded all the pictures at facebook -.-)

When a girl says I'm done, it usually means fight for me.

2011-11-04T00:55:00.000+08:00

Numb to everything. I don't cry, I don't laugh and I am no longer mad. All I did was stared at the screen and................ feel.................... nothing. Should I feel sad like how I used to and cry every night and make sure my eyes will be red and puffy the following day? Or move on and at least, try to forget?

At this point of time, there's only 2 options:

1 - Continue waiting.

2 - Give up, and move the fuck on.

November

2011-11-01T21:01:00.000+08:00

Don't bullshit all your way through life and expect everyone to believe you. Prove it.

I wonder if strangers judge my personality by my appearance.

2011-10-28T21:20:00.000+08:00

Seriously I miss my girls so so so much. Everyone now seems to be busy with poly life, and here I am studying on weekdays (technically half slacking as I've been missing quite a number of classes recently) and working on weekends. Just can't seem to find any available slot to ask them out.

I miss how I used to looked. My face, my arms and my stomach. Gg goes to thighs as it has always been this fucking fat. My complexion is not really good now a days and when there's pimples outbreak, it means good game for my face. No, I don't squeeze my pimples, but I don't know how the fuck they turns into scars. I swear there's quite a number on my face now though, plain awesome. Can't stand how my cheeks, arms and tummy gets so fucking huge and I just can't help but feel sorry at myself, how pathetic.

I know, I heard of the 'You're not fat at all, you're just average' sentence which everyone around is telling me, which might be the fact? (Idk) But some thinks I'm looking down on fat people, or even, insulting them. I don't fucking get it, different people have different views of fat. For my size now, I find it really unbearable and I can't fucking stand it. So what if other's out there is fat, I don't give a damn, so I don't have time to even insult them alright. I just don't want to be fat myself. Get it? Okay so the minus point for me? I just can't fucking stop eating and it's really depressing. Every bite I took seems like 1kg gain.

Any ideas to lose weight fast anyone? Because I can't seems to stand in front of the mirror for more than a second without feeling fucking depressed at myself.

Depressed with fats

2011-10-26T22:32:00.001+08:00

Priority on my list.

Tough time don''t last, but tough people do.

2011-10-25T17:56:00.002+08:00

Do you ever feel worthless, unimportant, alone and sad most of the time? Do you ever find yourself fat and ugly and always never good enough for anyone? Even your best friends? Do you find it hard to trust people around you because you know everyone leaves eventually even when they promised and ensure you they won't? Don't worry, you're not alone.

I can't seems to be happy, why?

We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it.

2011-10-21T20:41:00.003+08:00

Sorry for not posting that often. Was really busy recently. Have to cope with studies, cheers and work. And there isn't any off day for me, how sad. I'm proud of myself these few days as I'm on time for school. As what people always say, 'If there is a will, there is a way'. Heheh. Life is up and down as usual. Some days I'll feel super fortunate to have good family and friends around and some days I'll feel like shit. (But most days, it's those shitty days as I don't get enough sleep)

Shall blog again soon alright?! Stay tune!

Bye sweethearts :*

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

2011-10-10T01:21:00.000+08:00

Date: 7 October, Friday.

Venue: School.

AC Shine Nite was fun. I don't know why but it only applies for the Accounting students. In the morning, I had this huge pimple on my armpit, wtf. Make up was really really really thick and I'm not used to it. Especially the fake eyelashes, itchy like one kind. How do I look with pinkish red lipstick?

Our class won the talent contest and I'm so proud of them, wished I could join but due to being one of the nominated 'prom queen' I can't. And I didn't win the prom queen award. Expected it though, haha. Kind of dance after the whole event thing, and I broke my shoes while Linjia shirt came off. #FOL Epic moments! Had supper with Linjia, Hannah, Shahrul and Eugene then home. Unforgettable day.

I am so f a t. I want to slim down, fast!

Winners never quit and quitters never win.

2011-10-08T03:19:00.000+08:00

I don't say anything doesn't mean I don't care and it doesn't bother me.

Significant

2011-10-02T02:35:00.000+08:00

Do you feel the same?

The worst thing about being lied is knowing you're not worth the truth.

2011-09-29T13:15:00.000+08:00

They don't. The pain doesn't go away.

***

Isn't he the most hottest guy you ever seen? Meh, I'm so obsessed.

K basically I've been rotting at home for the past 2 days watching Vampire Diaries. I know the show started at 2009 (?) and I'm kind of late, but to make it clear, I don't show any interest in Vampire shows till after I finish reading the book 'Twilight' LinJia lend it to me few months back. And yep, I am also obsessed with Robert Pattinson a.k.a Edward Cullen.

Not bad too right? Kay, so I watched Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse. Oh! And a reminder, Breaking Dawn is coming out, November 18 (If I'm not wrong, I search Google though). So excited. ^^

Back on track. So I'm currently super obsessed with him. Paul Wesley a.k.a Stephan Salvatore. Actually Ian Somerhalder a.k.a Damon Salvatore is also quite hot. I like his cheeky smile.

Erm.. What's with me posting all their pictures and then feel seduced by them. Hahaha. I think I'm too obsessed with them, too much already! (Even now when I'm blogging I can't wait to finish typing what I wanna say and get back to the show. What the shit?!) Meh!

Oh! Tomorrow I'll be going Universal Studio with my NSBABES ❤ Been planning this outing for quite some time but due to our own time schedule, it's always a fail mission. Although not all is gonna turn up tomorrow, but I hope and think it'll be fun! So stay tune for pictures! Till then. Xoxo.

Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.

2011-09-27T16:45:00.000+08:00

Had a great day out with Lin Jia, Eugene and Wayne!

Met up for movie: Abduction. Rate: ★★★☆☆

Dinner at Bugis, had steamboat and I swear we wasted a lot of foods! Slack awhile and then home. Short but fun day. Supposedly there should be 10 people attending this outing, but due to some of their personal reasons, they didn't manage to come. Hopefully we will be having another outing soon, but this time, with everyone attending please. ☺

To be irreplaceable, one must be different.

2011-09-25T18:28:00.000+08:00

Same thing I tell myself everyday. So easy to say, yet on the other hand, so hard to do.

***

Take a breathe and let the rest come easy

2011-09-24T18:23:00.000+08:00

I believe in using songs to say things.

Without you, there is no me.

2011-09-23T15:55:00.000+08:00

It is in giving that we receive.

2011-09-22T07:12:00.000+08:00

Had mahjong session with Abigail, Cloe & Yuen Hui at Abigail's crib. (I realized we didn't took any pictures ☹) Went for dinner and had a midnight movie marathon. Meh, I fell asleep half way the first movie. So the girls watched The Smurfs, listening to songs & videos, disturbing me while I was snoring. Woke up in the morning and we went for Mac breakfast then head back to her house to snore a little more.

Guess bangs doesn't really suit me right? ☹ Cam-whore like mad to see which angle nicer. Turns out, all angles looked like the same. Mehhhhhhhhhhh -_-

Oh ya, if you follow me at twitter, you probably know I'm kind of crazy to finish up a very old chinese drama called 环珠格格, and I've finished watching it already. So do any of you have any nice suggestions what other new drama I can watch?! ☺

Let yourself be open and life will be easier.

2011-09-20T15:53:00.000+08:00

Went to have my hair dyed red with Jen today ☺

Cannot really see from the pictures we took, so I went home to cam-whore. Heheh.

So how was the color? We dyed the same color though ♥. Had our late lunch and then a good chat. Talked about so many things and it's been so long since I have such a lazy and slow day. Quite enjoyable though because I'm always feeling that life pass so fast, especially this year. Probably because of the drastic change of things in my life. Nevertheless, life still goes on isn't it? ☺

P/S: If you think I looked weird, it's because I've no make-up on.

Still wear the scars like it was yesterday

2011-09-19T14:46:00.000+08:00

Ever heard of the most common lie?

"I'm fine. . ."

Regrets

2011-09-17T17:59:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I'll think back and regretted certain things I've done, blaming myself why didn't I do or said this instead of that. Those critical moment when I know clearly I shouldn't say or do this, but I still did it because I'm not in the right state of mind. Probably I am angry or too sad that I said or did something I shouldn't. Well, actually I said and did a lot of things that I regretted in life, and I wonder, why things happened the way they did.

How ironic.

Some times I really really feel like turning back time and redoing all my mistakes over and over again till I make it perfect. But too bad, isn't it? Time don't rewind for me, they don't just stop or go back because of the mistakes I've done and just because I want my life to be at the very best, without any stains of mistakes and ugliness in it.

Promises

2011-09-16T14:13:00.000+08:00

When couples broke up, either way, the female or the male will say. . .

"Promises are meant to be broken."

Personally, I feel that way too. During a relationship, common things said to each other are;

"I promise to stay by your side forever."

"I promise to love you forever."

"I promise to marry you."

Maybe, at that point of time. The one who said it really do mean it. That's why it was said out from his/her mouth. But when this couple start to quarrel and they broke up. Either party might still love the other party. And one of them will say, "Where is your promises? Is promises meant to be broken?". And then the party will grieve over this matter again and again.

"Where did all the promises go?" and "I thought you said you promise. . . ?"

But to think again, if during the relationship one party ask the other, "Will you promise to stay by my side forever?". Let's take it that the other party is not confident of staying but really want to stay and on the other hand afraid that they will quarrel and hence, said out the sentence, "I promise. . . . . . . . . ."

***

Maybe promises are really meant to be fulfilled.

Maybe, promises is just a word with 8 letters. Nothing more than that.

2011-09-15T18:26:00.000+08:00

I want a hug.

But not just a normal hug. No. I want one of those pick-me-up-off-my-feet-squeeze-me-tight-spins-me-around-hurts-my-tummy-but-still-makes-me-smile-leaves-me-breathless-gives-me-butterflies-makes-me-giggle stupidly kind of hug.

The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited, or erased. It can only be accepted.

2011-09-10T18:21:00.000+08:00

Hiiiiiiii. How is everyone doing? Holidays is here for me and I've a lot of places that I want to go. USS outing with my NSBABES and Zoo/East Coast outing with my WEARESUCKERS. But I think the first two weeks I must work in order to get all the $$$. *MEGA SAD FACE* Recently I've been busy with school works, cheer and work. Totally no rest day for me. Meh. *SECOND MEGA SAD FACE* So I hope this holiday will be a fruitful one. Pretty please.

Update soon kay, with more pictures I promise.

Doubts.

2011-09-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

I'm worried about so so so many things and I can't seem to solve it and clear those doubts from my mind. I thought things will gonna be easy after a while, after a period of time. But am I wrong? Nothing seems easy. I always tell myself, nothing is too tough. I tried so hard to be optimistic. Believe me, I tried. Why? What have I done to deserve all these? Where did I go wrong?

Dreams.

2011-08-30T11:58:00.000+08:00

Cheerleading videos keeps me motivated.

People who are meant to be, always find a way.

2011-08-24T13:50:00.000+08:00

Dear diary,

I am tired. Really tired. I'm so tired of all the problems revolving around me. Problems never stop coming in, and it just piles up, higher and higher, and then everything gets harder and harder. I really wished to have a day break and sleep the whole day without worrying about anything. All I feel everyday is tiredness, shag-ness, those fucked-up feelings. There's a lot of things I want to do, I want to achieve, I want to have. But no, I can't do those, achieve those yet and have it either. No one actually understand how and what am I feeling now and I don't expect anyone to do so. I don't know. What can I do now? Who can I turn to? Who will be there? It's funny how when someone cares for me then I push them away, yet when no one do cares, I feel pretty empty and lonely. Is it how everyone who's single out there feels? Or is it just me?

Sincerely, Me.

2011-08-22T17:45:00.000+08:00

休息是為了走更長的路
你就是我的旅途
都是因為你我一直漫步

想要跟你一起走到最後
但我遺失了地圖
誰給誰束縛誰比誰辛苦
愛到深處才會領悟

好的事情最後雖然結束
感動十分就有十分滿足
謝謝你是你陪我走過那些路
痛是以後無法再給你幸福

好的事情也許能夠重複
感動時分就算紛紛模糊
不要哭至少你和我記得很清楚
愛是為彼此祝福

想要跟你一起走到最後
但我遺失了地圖
誰給誰束縛誰比誰辛苦
愛到深處才會領悟

好的事情最後雖然結束
感動十分就有十分滿足
謝謝你是你陪我走過那些路
痛是以後無法再給你幸福

好的事情也許能夠重複
感動時分就算紛紛模糊
不要哭至少你和我記得很清楚
愛是為彼此祝福

不要哭至少你和我記得很清楚
愛是為彼此祝福

Genesis to Gators

2011-08-16T15:00:00.000+08:00

I'm proud of all of us. I believe we can all do better! :)

加油 G A T O R S !!!

People come and go.

2011-08-10T16:10:00.000+08:00

Just don't feel like I belong to anywhere. I don't know what I can do to make myself feel better. I'm shutting myself from everyone around because I know people come and go. No one actually cares. I really want to go back to Secondary School life where friends are all around. I can go to them and cry because I broke up with my ex. I can rant all I want. I can make a big fool of myself without anyone judging me. And still feel accepted. But why not now? I feel that everyone only cares about themselves. Is this part of growing up? No one tells me that growing up is so hard. Maybe I've to just suck it up...

我們都傻

2011-08-06T14:28:00.000+08:00

计算着温柔陌生的多少别离
当我思念的心泛滥的时候
看着你的样子是你在伤心
揪心的是我的离开
倔强的以为我真的能改变你
看你装无辜的眼神我很窒息
难道你没有看见看见我对你的好
还是你忘了那些数不清的爱情轨迹
你说我傻傻在爱上只懂爱自己的人
我说你傻傻在爱他你的眼睛骗不了人
我们都傻傻在为一段没有未来的爱情付出
还在期待会有奇迹出现
你说我傻傻在爱上没有感情的分身
我说你傻傻在爱他就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿意放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现
倔强的以为我真的能改变你
看你装无辜的眼神我很窒息
难道你没有看见看见我对你的好
还是你忘了那些数不清的爱情轨迹
你说我傻傻在爱上只懂爱自己的人
我说你傻傻在爱他你的眼睛骗不了人
我们都傻傻在为一段没有未来的爱情付出
还在期待会有奇迹出现
你说我傻傻在爱上没有感情的分身
我说你傻傻在爱他就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿意放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现
谁没有为爱做过傻事
继续温习我会讽刺也无所谓
我说我傻傻在爱上没有感情的分身
你说你傻傻在爱他就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿意放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现

People are lonely because they built walls instead of bridges.

2011-08-01T14:18:00.000+08:00

Finally after so many weeks... I took leave and have a day out with my girls. Been so long since I last saw them and have a day to relax myself. They never fail to make my day a happy one. Pictures up soon in the next post! Stay tune!

***

Glee - Get it right

A song that never fails to make me tear...

Even a strong person has their breaking point

2011-07-25T14:57:00.000+08:00

I tried so hard to be me. The old happy crazy me.

***

I always wonder, why can people around be so happy? Staying positive all the time? Does it help? What if there's nothing to be positive about? What if everything just falls apart? What if there's nothing worth for you to smile and continue life? Can you still be positive and smile like nothing happened?

Don't let your mouth speak what your heart doesn't feel.

2011-07-19T20:56:00.000+08:00

Monday: 10am - 9pm.

Tuesday: 9am - 9pm.

Wednesday: 8am - 9pm.

Thursday: 8am - 9pm.

Friday: 8am - 10pm.

Saturday: 11am - 10pm.

Sunday: 11am - 10pm

Schedule for the next few weeks or so.

I just want to keep myself busy and nothing more.....

I hope you still look at me and wish you never let me go.

2011-07-12T13:42:00.000+08:00

Bruises.

I wish we could go back in time and have a second chance to fix a mistake.

2011-07-11T04:38:00.000+08:00

Purpose in life? Student: Study. Adult: Work and family. I don't understand why youths at my age keep thinking about love and then ended up getting hurt times and times. Yes, I am one of those. I mean, we clearly know nothing last forever and why are we even fighting for something we know that ain't gonna last? Desperate to have someone who cares? Not for me. Some friends are there for me, you know who you are. Someone told me once that it's for experience, maybe it's true, but is it worth it to get hurt and have that few experiences in life? Seriously, I don't find any purpose in life. All we have to do is to face hypocrites, liars, bitches and backstabbers and then we have to prove everyone wrong when those people judge you because of your past, or even what you are doing now. Yes, haters hate because they are jealous. True? Maybe not, there must be something why they dislike you. No one is perfect, I understand. But then why again do we have to face those shits? It's getting more and tiring as days go by. It's like I'm mentally drained out and I don't want to continue it anymore. There's no purpose in life. So what if you are successful and have lots of money? You still go through shits. People still judge you. Some people still go against you. What's wrong with humans? They just like to see others being pulled down. Why? Is it fun? Are you guys satisfied? If you are, fine. Continue. Because I know all these will never stop.

I don't know how to be someone you would miss.

2011-07-08T13:17:00.000+08:00

Don't know if any of you understand this feeling...

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn.

2011-07-04T11:42:00.000+08:00

I need to be stronger. I feel so weak and lousy...

Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair.

2011-06-27T10:47:00.000+08:00

YMCA

NSBABES

WEARESUCKERS

4E5 OPTIMISTS

***

I miss every single one of them. Meeting up with NSBABES & 4E5 OPTIMISTS on coming Sat for dinner, probably YMCA for a night over at Abigail's house after that. Sunday meeting WEARESCUKERS for outing at East Coast Park. I mean, I'm gonna meet all the people I miss all in 2 days? That's pretty cool...

The heart hides what you can't say but the eyes say what you try to hide.

2011-06-24T12:01:00.000+08:00

See this girl, you know her story?

Every living creature on earth dies alone.

2011-06-19T02:05:00.000+08:00

When you thought your life is perfect and while you're enjoying it, something or someone is bound to be there destroying every single thing. When you thought you know someone well enough to know his/her daily routines, his/her habits, his/her favorite color, his/her parents or his/her personality then you assume you know him/her well enough. You think so? You do? Married couples lived together for couples of years and they still don't understand each other. When you thought if you trust someone, he/she will not take you for granted and will try his/her very best not to hurt you. True?

It really surprise me when I thought the one I trusted the most is the same one that hurt me the most, but I don't mind, I love him enough to do this all over and over again. Even when others wants to come in and spoil everything, brainwash him, flirt him or whatever to make him dislike or hate me, so be it. Go ahead. If he love me enough, he won't mind what others say to him. The problem is, what if he don't? Then... What for to hold on to someone who doesn't feel the same way as me when I've already given my best. I'm still holding on, wishing one day he will be back though it's near to impossible. But I'm already on the verge of giving up, I'm tired to know things about him which makes me feel so terrible inside every single day and yet who cares? Not him, not anymore.

Bored of being bored because being bored is boring.

2011-06-15T13:36:00.000+08:00

Slack-ish Tuesday. Sometimes I prefer going to school rather than rotting at home. At least in school, friends are there to make me smile and laugh which tends to make me forget things which I shouldn't be thinking of. Erase my problems for the six to nine hours spent in school. I love you guys.

The less you reveal, the more people can wonder.

2011-06-13T14:17:00.000+08:00

Fact: I'm afraid of cats.
(Now you wonder what's with my background. Haha.)